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I wish you could see
the sadness of a business-man as his livelihood goes up in flames, or that
family returning home, only to find their house and belongings damaged or
destroyed.
I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning bedroom for
trapped children, flames rolling above your head, your palms and knees
burning as you crawl, the floor sagging under your weight as the kitchen
beneath you burns.
I wish you could comprehend a wife’s horror at 3 a.m. as I check her
husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping
to bring him back, knowing intuitively that it is too late. But wanting
his wife and family to know everything possible was done.
I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot
filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the
sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see absolutely
nothing in dense smoke ~ sensations that I have become too familiar with.
I wish you could understand how it feels to go to work in the morning
after having spent most of the night, hot and soaking wet at a multiple
alarm fire.
I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a building fire. “Is this a
false alarm or a working, breathing fire? How is the building constructed?
What hazards await me? Is anyone trapped? Or to an EMS call, “What is
wrong with the patient?” Is it minor or life threatening? Is the caller
really in distress or is he or she waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?
I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the
beautiful five-year-old girl that I tried to save during the past 25
minutes. Who will never go on her first date or say the words “I love you,
Mommy” again.
I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab engine, the driver
with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and
again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right of way at an
intersection or in traffic. When you need us, however, your first comment
upon our arrival will be, “It took you forever to get here!”
I wish you could know my thoughts a s I help extricate a girl of teenage
years from the mangled remains of her automobile. “What if this was my
sister, my girlfriend, or a friend? What were her parents’ reaction going
to be when they opened the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?
I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my
parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did
not come back from the last call I was on. I wish you could feel the hurt
as people verbally and sometime physically, abuse us or belittle what I
do, or as they express their attitudes or “It will never happen to me.”
I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping
save a life, or preserving someone’s property, of being there in time of
crisis, or creating order from total chaos.
I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy
tugging at your arm and asking. "Is Mommy okay?" Not even being able to
look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say.
Or to hold back a long-time friend who watches his buddy having rescue
breathing done on him as they take him away in the ambulance. You know all
along he did not have his seat belt on ~ Sensations I am too familiar
with.
Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will probably never
truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our job really
means to us
……I WISH YOU COULD. -Author
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